Long time! It’s been around 6 weeks since I last wrote here. Let’s see what has happened since. The quarter closing went by, and I survived. For allllll the stress that I took over it, it wasn’t that bad at all. I managed pretty okay, and Bea also mentioned a couple of words of appreciation for me. So, that was a big relief. Sum was barely involved in the entire process.
I assumed, things would be smooth and life would feel peaceful once this closing was finished. But, there is always something or the other to keep me worried about work. Anyway, I keep telling myself…we’ll cross the bridge, when we come to it. No point worrying about it then and now as well. All is well
The Yoga is going on okayish. Took a longish break because of chums and then closing and something or the other. Trying to get back on track now.
Another interesting thing that happened was a juice diet that we tried out last weekend. A 3-day juice diet. Gosh, it was so tough!! More on that in the next post. Gotta get ready and reach office on time. Now that they are discouraging work-from-home😦
And it’s Sunday evening again. That time of the week, when we are not at our happiest
The weekend was not bad at all. Sru came over on Friday night and stayed over. We had a nice long conversation last morning about work, and related stuff. Like, how the both of us tend to beat ourselves up if we don’t get the bestest reviews in whatever we do. Lifelong process this seems to be…getting over the perfectionist attitude.
Anyway, she left mid-morning yesterday, and then I went to meet the Merc guys for drinks. And oh boy…did I get smashed! They made me play some silly game, wherein I had to drink a shot of vodka (neat!) every time I used the word boring. And guess what, I used the word 7 times!! Not good. Felt sick towards the end of the night. Couldn’t wait to get home. And to make matters worse, I have to pay for the shots! Yuck!
The Yoga is going alright. I practised today, although I did miss the practice yesterday. Felt good. I have to keep this going, no matter what! Oh, I wish S would come back soon…
Ah…not feeling so good today, are we?!
Work wasn’t all that fabulous yesterday. We had our weekly call with Bea and Sil, which didn’t really go all that well. Both of us were grilled on something, and we were barely prepared to handle it. Somehow, I found it really hard to express myself in German, while trying to justify myself. So, I just gave up and admitted to everything. Not a very pleasant feeling😦 In fact, I was almost at the verge of tears at a certain point in the conversation. Anyway, we need to buck up. At least, I do.
Sum took it comparatively well! He doesn’t seem to be someone easily daunted by minor setbacks. I guess, I take it too damn personally! Equanimity…remember?
What made things worse was that I didn’t get to speak with S yesterday, because of his super busy schedule in Egypt. I did speak with him this morning, and he instantly guessed that something was wrong. Finally, I ended up telling him the whole story. Poor thing must be all worried about me now. When will I ever be at peace with my career?! Maybe, it doesn’t even have to do with my career. Sigh…
Today should hopefully be better than the last two days. I hope so! If I do finish preparing the deck soon enough, I shall try to work with the new weekly email format.
Oh, I also did some Yoga today. It’s good, but I guess I need to be a little more focused about my practice and try to challenge myself a bit more.
So how are we doing today?
Not so awful. I guess. At least, not as bad as yesterday morning. Although, I still feel a slight shortness of breath, which, I just read, can be countered by deep belly breathing. Let’s try and practise that for a couple of minutes every hour.
Yesterday went alright, I guess. The decks were okay, except for a couple of errors made by S. I could understand 50% of what was spoken yesterday, or I daresay, a little more. Yesterday was also the first time Madl acknowledged us! Hurray Anyway…
Sru came over last night, since Sri was spending the night at NG. We sat up till late in the night as usual, discussing things. I even told her about the recent fight S and I had, regarding his inability to accept any form of criticism or ever apologise. So, we kinda swapped notes about our respective marriages, upbringing, etc. It was fun and felt good. She left early this morning.
I did my Yoga practise today based on a Youtube video. It was more of hip openers. And now it’s time to begin work soon. Let today be peaceful and fun.
Remember, there is a sea of tranquility in you. Even amidst all that chaos of the external world. You just need to reach out to it in difficult times. Equanimity at all times. Breathe deep. And let go…
Considering the number of jobs I have held over the past so many years, it would be interesting to note down things I liked and things I didn’t like in all my jobs. Just so I get a better sense of my kinda ideal job (if it does exist!)
Things I liked/like,
- Good pay
- Flexibility in terms of timings and work-from-home
- Good colleagues
- Not very stressful (able to switch off once outside office)
- Easy commute
- Start early morning and finish early
Things I didn’t/don’t like,
- Feeling underpaid
- Feeling undervalued and superfluous
- Stressful (having to work on weekends!)
- Long commute
- No fun colleagues
- Starting work in the afternoon and working till late night
So, here’s a challenge. Just keep writing for the next 20 minutes. Until it is time to start working, of course. It might not be easy, but it is what I will do to keep the juices flowing!
What have I been up to lately? Scouring the internet for Yoga related stuff. Now I have a plethora of Yoga books and articles. All I need to do is make some sense of it and develop my own personal practice. And be regular at it. That’s the challenging part…not the hoarding of articles But it ain’t so bad. I have already started with the practice. Let’s see how it goes.
S broached the topic of the Europe move to his Manager. It isn’t all that simple, because they have already been in talks with someone else for the role. His manager did suggest some alternatives, like moving to the US, for instance. Somehow, i am not so keen on that one. So, for now…we’ll just wait and watch. Hopefully, the future will be kind to us, as the past has been
Stop thinking! Just keep writing.
There was that plan to start a blog for the three of us sisters. As usual, I have lost the initial enthusiasm. Might as well resort to writing emails, I guess.
Strangely, I am feeling a bit tired and sleepy. Wish I could just take the day off and curl up in bed and go to sleep. Maybe, I’ll take it easy today.
It’s exhausting to even think of more stuff to write. Maybe it just isn’t one of those days.
What else has been happening?
I was planning on joining a new Yoga centre that has just opened up close to our home. But, I am not yet entirely convinced somehow. Yesterday, I had a short chat with my Yoga teacher in the gym that I currently work out at. I mentioned to her that my gym membership ends end of next month, and I might as well join a Yoga centre because I only seem to attend Yoga classes in the gym anyway.
She didn’t seem very convinced about my joining the new place. Instead, she suggested that I join the Iyengar centre that also, luckily, is not too far away from my place. It is also quite affordable compared to any other Yoga class in this city nowadays! I need to discuss this with S and make a decision very soon before any of these places hike up their rates.
While chatting with her, I also happened to mention to her that I would love to do a Teachers’ training program someday. She suggested to me that I should first devote an entire year to just practicing Yoga and then think of this. Maybe she has a valid point. Somehow, I don’t seem to have much of an interest in a private practice. Although, I know this is a very important aspect of being a Yoga practitioner or a teacher.